Monthly Archives: November 2011
Just Say No! And a Black Friday survival kit
By Megan Crotty
Don your football pads, grab that helmet and get your running shoes ready – it’s Black Friday again.
As the economy putters back toward normal at a snail’s pace, many Americans may be taking the Black Friday bargaining to the extreme this year. The combination of a bit more money to spend and a newfound obsession with couponing is about to reach critical mass, and God help those caught in the path of a shopper on a mission.
Just so we are all properly situated, I would like to point out that the term Black Friday originally identified the day in 1307 on which a French king had all of the Knights Templar brutally murdered in their beds.
While the Knights Templar association may be accidentally appropriate, the American Black Friday tradition is only about as old as personal electronics. Originating in the 1960s in Philadelphia, the term was first used to describe the traffic and pedestrian cluster-fuck that plagued the city on the day following Thanksgiving. Retailers eventually adopted the term to describe the day – one of the busiest shopping days of the year – that takes them from red to black, monetarily speaking.
As you bow down to the gods of commerce and consumption this year, and drop a few elbows on your way toward that 3-D television, don’t forget to remember that these winter holidays are really not about check-out lines, fist fighting in Walmart and playing shopping cart bumper cars.
I’m not going to get all sappy here – don’t let the fact that I am a chick fool you, I am as pessimistic and sarcastic as the toughest tough guy with the vocabulary to back it up. But, I do think we have lost sight of some things. The more we, as a people, begin to associate the holidays with violent and stressful shopping trips, the less we will enjoy them (the holidays that is). And while such occasions will always provide the opportunity for your extended family to bring the crazy to the table, I really don’t think we need to escalate that crazy by waiting in line all night, some of us in the bitter cold, to save $20 on whatever “hot” new toy advertisers are going to con your kid into thinking they need this year.
I, luckily, have been spared from the Black Friday tradition because on one such trip, my mother saw two elderly women fist fighting over a Tickle-Me Elmo doll. The fight ended when one woman tried to throw the other over a third story mall balcony and a weary security guard had to intervene.
Still not convinced Black Friday shopping is an awful, terrible, no good idea that will take a few years off of your life? Fine by me, but I suggest you bring a few items from my Black Friday Survival Kit, which includes:
Booze – because you need to be drunk to participate in roller derby style shopping.
Friends – you probably will not continue to be friends after this harrowing event, but there is power in numbers, so I would risk it anyway.
First aid kit and ice packs – for the injuries you will definitely suffer from before, during and after the experience.
Bull horn – you can grab the nearest iPad while everyone runs for cover.
Store map – this should include a contingency plan and exit strategy for when disaster strikes.
Walkie Talkies – go military style and keep in contact with your group all while making other shoppers stop in their tracks to say, “What the hell?” I also suggest inventing code names to further intimidate and promote anonymity.
Brown paper bag – for hyperventilating shoppers.
Your son’s football pads – so you can ram through other deal-seekers with ease.
Game face – because if you look crazier than everyone else, they may just get out of your way.
Uniform – Wearing a T-shirt with wolves howling at the moon, an old pair of skids, shit-kicker boots and a jean vest lets other shoppers know you are officially “off the reservation.”
Grooming – To enhance the look, rough up hair for a disheveled and grizzled effect that says, “I bite and I do not have my shots.”
Xanax - for the PTSD that will follow your Black Friday adventure.
Good luck, godspeed and happy shopping.
JFK, Oliver Stone and the Search for Truth
Part 1 of a 3 part series on the Assassination
The movie “JFK” by Oliver Stone, which has been ridiculed as being complete fiction, examines the most infamous event in American history. Through the years, many people have offered an explanation for Kennedy’s assassination. Some claim conspiracy, some believe the Warren commission, while others who believe conspiracy, differ on who did it and why Kennedy was killed. Today, most Americans believe some sort of conspiracy took place. But even they are divided on who might have done it and for what purpose. Oliver Stone’s epic film provides the audience a historic dance through time, based on accurate information from sources who were directly involved with these events. In this essay, the primary focus will center on Stone’s interpretation of a definitive conspiracy and examine the people or organizations Stone seems to implicate as the perpetrators and their motivation behind the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
“JFK” begins with an excellent recite of history narrated by Martin Sheen, to provide a foundation for not only conspiracy, but also a truthful look at the actual events preceding the President’s trip to Dallas. The very first thing we see as the movie begins over a sustained ‘drumbeat’ is a quote by Ella Wheeler Wilcox that’s states; “To sin by silence when we should protest makes cowards out of men.” This quote seems designed to provide a personal message from Stone himself. Essentially, he has made this film to highlight or give his reason why Kennedy was killed, rather than be silent. When Sheen finally speaks, he is talking over the famous farewell address by President Dwight D. Eisenhower. In this speech, Eisenhower tells Americans to “beware of the military Industrial complex.” This ‘complex’ that Eisenhower is warning Americans about, is based on the simple fact of greed. Candidly, America currently and at that time, was spending an enormous amount of money on the military and the people who were making that money will do anything to protect their resources. This is the essential point that Stone is making at the beginning of the movie. This point is critical; because it provides a clear historical warning about the threat the “military industrial complex” will cause America if left unchecked and provides a motive for assassination.
Stone makes the motive for assassination very clear early on in this film. After the Eisenhower speech is shown, Sheen begins speaking over video clips of President Kennedy openly talking about the war effort in Vietnam as a war “ that is ultimately a war that should be decided by them.” (Them, meaning the Vietnamese) Moreover, Sheen says that Kennedy inherits a conflict with Cuba, because American business interests dislike Cuban revolutionary, Fidel Castro. The Bay of Pigs incident is also discussed, where Sheen ‘reminds’ the audience that Kennedy refused to invade Cuba, like the CIA really wanted. This insinuation that the CIA and Kennedy were at odds is a true reflection of history. It is also true that Kennedy at the very least, had discussed pulling out of Vietnam, costing certain business interests, millions upon millions of dollars. Oliver Stone is being very clear whom he ‘thinks’ killed Kennedy and why they did it. Stone is stating very loudly, “Kennedy was killed because he was about to challenge the “military industrial complex” that Eisenhower had warned about.
After we witness President Kennedy being killed in Dallas in his infamous motorcade, we are immediately taken to New Orleans, where the focus of not only this scene, but also the movie centers on New Orleans District Attorney Jim Garrison. At this point, witnesses are shown giving interviews to local TV stations where they say shots were fired at a hill near the street (the Grassy knoll) and the book depository. Based on bonus features in the DVD set, Stone explains that those interviews were interviews that were based on people taking from police reports on that historical day. After these interviews are shown, pictures of Oswald walking and speaking are shown; with a quick mention in news feed to a connection Oswald has to New Orleans. It is at this point, where D.A. Garrison watching the footage, decides to investigate.
Throughout the film, Stone uses the character of Garrison to not only investigate possible motives and conspirators, but also, has Garrison speak about what has been lost since the death of Kennedy. This element is important, because Stone must continue to demonstrate a reason for Kennedy’s death if his theory is correct. For example, Garrison is riding on a plane with Senator Long where a cultural discussing is taking place. Long is complaining about hippies and how out of control the country is when Garrison says, “I sometimes think things have gone downhill since Kennedy died.” This instigates a discussion between Long and Garrison about the difficulties of physically pulling off the assassination. Stone not only needs to provide a motive, but he needs to demonstrate, with actual evidence; Oswald could not have acted alone. This is important because if evidence suggest Oswald acted alone, then the motive for Kennedy’s assassination is irrelevant. Furthermore, Stone must exonerate Oswald, at least partially that Oswald was a “patsy”, as Oswald actually stated.
As the movie progresses, Stone does an excellent job of highlighting the many inconsistencies of the Warren Commission. For example, in one of the last scenes of the movie, Garrison is making his closing argument in the prosecution of Clay Shaw, who Stone implicates as the mastermind of the conspiracy. (This was based off of real life Jim Garrison’s book) In this scene, Garrison explains that after the head shot, Kennedy’s head went “back and to the left, back and to the left”, repeating it several times. This emphasis that Garrison (and by extension Stone) is making is that even if Oswald was involved, the last shot could not have come from him, because his angle would not produce head movement like that. Furthermore, Garrison attacks the Warren Commission’s premises that two bullets could have caused all of the damaged it did. (The Warren Commission contends Oswald fired three shots, and only two landed, hitting not only President Kennedy, but also Governor Connolly.)
Although, the movie is mostly based in New Orleans, the main star of this film is the CIA. Many of the possible conspirator’s in this movie have links to the CIA. These links are imperative to proving Stone’s theory that Kennedy was killed because of the war interest of the CIA and other corporate businesses. In many different scenes, we see Oswald, played brilliantly by Gary Oldman, in New Orleans working with sympathetic Cuban groups, but in actuality, a cog in the machine for the CIA. I believe Stone is not necessarily making the case that the people depicted in the movie are definitively the conspirator’s, but he is simply using them, again, based off Garrison’s book, to explain the inconsistencies of the Warren report. Furthermore, none of the character’s Garrisons highlights are said to be guilty beyond a reasonable doubt by Stone. Even the character of Clay Shaw is never explicitly stating he had Kennedy killed. Shaw’s character’s seems to be representing a broader group of business people who most likely, had international ties to the CIA.
In closing, Oliver Stone’s “JFK” is not something one should take word for word. I do not believe it was Stone’s intention to have the audience view this film as the bible on the assassination. Stone simply made his case for a conspiracy and believed he knew why Kennedy was killed. By opening the film with the Eisenhower remarks on the “military industrial complex”, Stone is stating he believes that “complex” killed Kennedy. Furthermore, Stones focuses on the reason, more than the whom, in regards to Kennedy’s death. The individuals who killed Kenned are not as important as is the reason. Kennedy’s death helped continue, unabated the Vietnam War where a select few made multi-millions and even more innocent civilians perished. Stone is making the case that Kennedy’s death was a blow to democracy in favor of greedy war profiteers. I would tend to agree with Stone and give my take on what happened in Dallas that day.
I believe Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy as he stated and used as ‘mule’ by the CIA. His role was to be the accused assassin, while the true reason for Kennedy’s assassination would be silenced by another shadowy figure by the name of Jack Ruby. Kennedy was killed because he represented a threat to many of the established elite. His death was the result of his intention to withdraw out of Vietnam. But perhaps Mikhail Gorbachev, former Premier of the Soviet Union, summed up the real reason for Kennedy’s assassination up best:
“He looked far ahead and he wanted to change a great deal. Perhaps it is this that is the key to the mystery of the death of President John F. Kennedy.”
Why Does America Hate and Love Tim Tebow?
Tonight’s Jets and Broncos game has elicited an irrational sense of excitement. Part of the reason is that the NFL is in a league of popularity all of it’s own. Another is there are some legitimate playoff story lines between both teams. But the # 1 reason everyone is excited about this game is because of an outright and unexplainable phenomenon: Tim Tebow.
So why are we so fascinated by this guy? Everybody has an opinion on Tebow. You either hate him or love him. Like the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street, Tebow illicits strong emotion and feelings, for suppoerts and foes alike. So we will try and list why we love and hate Tim Tebow.
WHY WE LOVE TEBOW
- He is the all American boy.
-He wins
-He wins, but sucks
-He is a white, young, male and conservative.
-He was a first round pick for no reason reason. (similar to why we can’t stop watching him. It made no sense, but Josh McDaniels just couldn’t help himself.)
-He is an unabashed Christian, with strange sex appeal.
-He made a Pro-Life commercial with his mother during the Superbowl.
-He plays in front of Brady Quinn. (ok, maybe not a reason, but a nice side story about another big name QB who sucks)
-He is fascinating because of an unlikely combination of how bad he sucks, but somehow, just keeps winning. He is insanely compelling.
WHY WE HATE HIM
- He is the all American boy.
-He wins
-He wins, but sucks
-He is a white, young, male and conservative.
–He was a first round pick for no reason reason. (similar to why we can’t stop watching him. It made no sense, but Josh McDaniels just couldn’t help himself.)
-He is an unabashed Christian, with strange sex appeal.
-He made a Pro-Life commercial with his mother during the Superbowl.
-He plays in front of Brady Quinn. (ok, maybe not a reason, but a nice side story about another big name QB who sucks)
-He is fascinating because of an unlikely combination of how bad he sucks, but somehow, just keeps winning. He is insanely compelling.
So there ya go. We just can’t stop watching this, regardless of how we feel about him.
#TebowMania!!!!
Is There Hope For Legalizing Marijuana?
With Libertarian Congressman (R)-Ron Paul and Liberal (D)-Congressman Barney Frank introducing a bill to stop the enforcement of the federal government in issues concerning Marijuana, is legalization possible?
This Past year, a political oddball team if there ever was one, found common agreement within their political ideology to merge for a bill that would “somewhat” legalizes marijuana. The bill put forth by anti-government, libertarian loving Republican congressman Ron Paul and the Tea Parties favorite liberal to hate, Barney Frank will “ limit the federal government’s role in marijuana enforcement to cross-border or inter-state smuggling, allowing people to legally grow, use or sell marijuana in states where it is legal,” according to the Marijuana Policy Project, which advocates for pot legalization. “The legislation is the first bill ever introduced in Congress to end federal marijuana prohibition.”
In addition, Marijuana may be an effective way to help other mental health issues such as substance abuse. However, some adversaries against legalization will state the Marijuana can itself, become addictive. Such a statement is true, but like other treatment programs, certain places in Florida marijuana addiction treatment .
Occupy Wall Street evictions and the Other 1 percent
By Megan Crotty
I like a protest as much as the next gal, but I think I have had quite enough of the Occupy movement nationwide.
Don’t get me wrong, I agree with the underlying tenants of the movement. I am part of the 99 percent, and chances are, you are too. But, I fail to see how these protests are forwarding the cause of the greater good at this juncture. I have been told by a Russian Emigre that when a protest is held in Europe it will end quickly if no one gets up to speak, no matter how grand and important the cause. The clock has been ticking for two months now, and we have had no speech, no outlining of major ideas, no leadership in the Occupy movement.
Someone in support of the movement may tell me that “I don’t get it.” That I do not understand that they are all equals and they do not want to play into politics, to which, I would respond (and I think Jack would have my back) that they do not get it. You need to play the game to effect the game, and the Occupy silence coupled with the Occupy bongos and ponchos and damage to public spaces, has caused the movement to become a nuisance at best, which is a shame considering that what they originally stood for should be of concern to us all.
While some may not agree with me, I think New York City got it right this week by removing the Occupy Wall Street protesters and their $300 tents from Zuccotti Park. I think it is prudent for them to allow the Occupiers back in with new rules as well, and I wish more cities nationwide would do the same. Why, you may ask? Because as winter rolls around, these Occupy movements will be taking away desperately needed services from the other 1 percent in our nation – the homeless.
Not the homeless that choose to be homeless so they can discuss economics and buck the system from the comfort of their temporary, North Face-designed home, but the truly homeless. Those who have really fallen on the hardest of times, which, in this economy, has begun to include more and more families with children. As volunteers descend upon Occupy camps with blankets, food, coats and free health checks, others will be neglected.
Furthermore, the movement is causing a strain on our local services, as police details, garbage and cleaning services – among other things – become necessary at each of the camps. Let us not forget that this uses valuable state money at a time when states do not have money to waste.
So, whats the answer? I am not sure, but I hope it includes clearing out of these parks and actually getting organized. Tell me something Occupy Wall Street – tell me anything, – and I would probably be behind you. But continue on like this and you will likely lose the members of the public that have not already forgotten you are camping in their major cities. Shed the public persona of the spoiled, upper middle class rich kid that can’t get a job they love and has decided to pout it out in public, and don the attire of the passionate advocate for the 99 percent.




